Sep 9, 2011

Interview with Greatness

As I sit here in utter bewilderment at the clientele that frequent all that is Panera West Palmdale, I ask myself one simple question: "Self, who would be the absolute most essential and relevant person in the world that I could interview right now?" Unfortunately, that person is not available. (Something about a restraining order and how illegal it is for me to be within a mile of that person). Ergo, I will have to settle for Noah Stepro. I mean, if his wife can do it, so can I.

I am literally filled with tingles as I wait for his arrival. That is probably due to the five cups of coffee I inhaled in a span of three minutes. Noah, of course, has no idea that I am going to interview him. Why should he? I'm just bored out of my mind and thought it would be fun. Well, at least it wouldn't be horrible. Kind of.

This place just packed out. I love how certain persons will take up an entire table that would normally hold seven people just so they can plug their computers into the wall. Geeks. I'm so envious.

Noah should be here soon. He may already be here. The line is so long that in curves out the door and ends across the street at Best Buy. I think. I didn't really look.

There's a couple about to make out at a table next to me. For the love of God people, I'm married! Knock off this freak show.

Add 2 more cups of coffee.

Geesh. I'm actually losing interest in doing this. Maybe I should just make up the interview? It would be more interesting anyway. Here's a sneak peek:

Awesome Dude: Mr. Stepro, How were you able to subdue the terrorist plot?

Noah: Google.

Awesome Dude: Of course.

He arrived! Now he's off to the bathroom. As a real investigative journalist, I decide to go through his backpack while he's detained. It is filled with nothing I can mention. I don't want him to get in trouble with his wife. I did decide to pocket a thumb drive, for investigative reasons.

Awesome Dude: Mr. Stepro, ....

Actually, he just left.

We never got around to it.

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